There are some red flags to look out for on a first date if you’re trying to avoid cheaters. Netflix
The causes of infidelity are incredibly complex and varied. Although cheating is a common problem in relationships, predicting it is pretty much impossible – especially on a first date.
The strongest predictor of cheating is the dynamic between partners, according to Dr. Dana Weiser, an infidelity expert and associate professor at Texas Tech University. And when a relationship hasn’t even begun yet, it’s borderline impossible to find warning signs of infidelity.
“It’s probably not a good idea to go into a first date analyzing whether this person is going to cheat on you or not,” Weiser told INSIDER. “The goal of a first date should be to see if you want to have a second date with the person.”
Still, there are a few things that could spell trouble early on in a relationship. Just remember none of these signs is a hard-and-fast indicator that someone will or won’t cheat. Some people possess many of the warning signs for infidelity but with the right partner and without too many external stressors, they can have a successful monogamous relationship.
1. Someone with a fuzzy dating past might be trying to hide a history of cheating.
It’s pretty commonly accepted that dating history is not the best first-date discussion topic. But if it does come up, it can be illuminating.
If someone tells you on a first https://lovingwomen.org/tr/blog/etiyop-arkadaslik-siteleri/ date that they’ve cheated in the past, this might be a strong indication that they will cheat, according to Madeleine Mason Roantree , a psychologist specializing in dating and relationships. If they tell you they’re currently in a relationship, this is a strong indication that they are literally cheating on their partner with you. These are direct indicators that this person might not excel at monogamy.
An indirect indicator, Roantree told INSIDER, would be “a past of dating several people at the same time” or a lack of long-term, committed relationships. These could be signs that this person might be more likely to “cross a pre-agreed boundary of intimacy” in the future, she said.
2. If one person’s way more interested in dating than the other, it’s not a good sign.
Of course, many relationships happen because one person pursued another. But if one person is trying and trying to date someone who’s just not that into them, a relationship might not be a good idea.
“If it’s a very inequitable relationship where you’re always trying to do everything and your partner does nothing,” Weiser told INSIDER, “that’s problematic.”
Maybe the person you’re going out with has ignored your messages for days at a time, but you’re still dying to go out with them. Or maybe it’s the other way around, and you’re only going on a date with someone because they seem super interested in you.
Either way, this is not a recipe for success. Unequal interest in a relationship can cause problems – and infidelity could be one of those problems.
3. Jealousy at any stage can be a predictor of infidelity.
Jealousy and an urge to monitor your partner’s behavior are not just signs that infidelity could be in the future, but also signs of abuse, Weiser told INSIDER. If you’re seeing signs of jealousy as early as a first date, this is a red flag for several reasons.
Conversely, if you’re looking for signs that a person might cheat before your relationship has even been defined, you might be the jealous one. It couldn’t hurt to re-examine your own potential issues with jealousy and trust.
Cheating happens when a partner feels bad about themselves or bad about their relationship – and being on the receiving end of an overly jealous partner can lead to those negative feelings.
“A lot of times, if you’re not trusting a person or you’re monitoring their behavior, what it’s doing is creating an unsatisfying relationship,” Weiser said, “and having a satisfying relationship is the number one protective factor of not having infidelity present in your relationship.”
4. Narcissism could be a contributing factor to cheating.
Narcissists are people who are convinced they deserve special treatment and take advantage of others to satisfy their own desires , according to the American Psychology Association.
“[F]or a narcissist, staying faithful isn’t simply a matter of having a good relationship – the rush of being admired and desired by other potential sexual or romantic partners is often enough to sweep away concerns about their primary partner’s feelings.”
Still, it’s a bad idea to play armchair psychiatrist with your date. You probably won’t be able to spot a narcissist based on casual interactions.
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