The Dichotomy of Tinder
One thing that I have come to realize is that everyone is different and multifaceted in such interesting ways! I knew that on a surface level, of course, but recognizing that everyone I’ve talked to has their own struggles, triumphs, and learning experiences is a humbling experience.
Contrasted with the application of the Tinder app, this makes for an interesting dichotomy of split-decision shallowness and potential long-term discovery. Simply put, you are meeting so many people in such a short amount of time it puts you in the unique position of knowing people on both a superficial and deep level. How odd.
Day 9 & 10: Rescheduling
It was a hard decision for me because I hate letting people down, and I hate not doing what I say I’m going to do. In the end, it just came down to the simple fact that I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. I knew that if I went on the date 1) I probably wouldn’t be a very good date, and 2) it would make me even more exhausted for the weekend (during which I had a couple additional social encounters planned).
I said I was feeling ill, and Guy #1 took my bowing out with grace. We rescheduled for this Thursday. I don’t know what we are doing yet, but I’m sure we’ll have a good time.
Pushing Myself too Hard?
My best friend, whom I have mentioned before, is an extrovert. We roomed together in college for a couple of years, and we balanced each other out very well. I pulled her back when she was pushing herself too hard, and she pushed me out of my shell when I needed it.
On Friday, I called her for advice. I explained my date dilemma to her and asked her if I should cancel. She recommended that I go on the date despite my reluctance and enjoy myself. I smiled and thanked her for her advice. Her words were exactly what I needed to hear.
Not because I go against her advice simply on principle (in fact, she almost always has very good advice) but because once I hung up with her on the phone, dreading going on the date even more, I realized something.
Even those you are closest to aren’t going through the same things you are going through. And at the end of the day, only you (sometimes) and Christ know exactly how you are feeling and how you should proceed.
It was a novel revelation: that I can and should trust myself while taking into account the advice of those whom I love.
Knowing My Limits
So back to my original conundrum: What is the perfect balance between “pushing myself” and taking care of myself? If I never push myself, I will never get out of my comfort zone and will (as I mentioned earlier) always be waiting for true love to ride in and sweep me off my feet. On the other hand, if I always am outside my comfort zone, I will be exhausted, miserable, and short with everyone.
I think the only way you can find happiness and contentment in these situations is to know yourself and to continue getting to know yourself through the years.
For instance, I might be an introvert, but after getting to know people, they are often surprised when I tell them this. “You can’t be an introvert,” they often say. “You seem katso so bubbly and vivacious!” (True story). What they don’t know is, while I might be good in front of crowds and very personable one-on-one, I love nothing more than being in my own head in a quiet room with a book.
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